(I went to Labor and Delivery wearing a fitted t-shirt, running shorts, and running shoes. The nurse hooking me up to the monitor says, "how far along are you I don't think its time you may be in pre term labor" ummm no! I am 39weeks and 5days THANK YOU VERY MUCH! then she says ,"How did you get here, did you run or walk? Where do you live?" okay idiot...Yep I ran all the way here (its a good 10 miles to hospital. People are so silly)
Remember I told you I had a few "I think its time"'s and each time I was rejected. So as I am waiting in triage to get my labor check I am dreading thinking about being sent home AGAIN. I just want to see my baby. It had been forever since I had even seen her on an ultrasound :(
The nurse came in hooked me up to the monitor and I crossed my fingers and prayed for my contractions to get harder and closer together. haha I know who does that!! FREAK. Just my luck they were spaced out and irregular but I was definitely contracting. The big defining moment was coming...the cervical check. I have never in my life wanted a woman to put her fingers in my vajayjay so bad! HURRY UP AND CHECK ME!! Tell me I am staying puh-lezzzz!!!!
"You are 4 cm. Lets get you a room" OMG!!!!! I am staying! WHAT!?!?!?!?)(^#)@%^)#(^)(Q#%*(*@$%!)(*&%@)*&%)@*!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
After calling everyone and sharing the good news I gave Asa the okay to come to the hospital. Don't ask why he didn't go with me to begin with. MEN.
I was doing great feeling awesome! The contractions were still at a .5 on a scale from 0-I'm dying. I was in my room relaxing getting ready to play the waiting game. When is this "labor" going to start? What the hell is "labor" because I could do this all day everyday no pain at ALL. About 3 hours later the nurse came in the contractions were a little more intense just enough to make me let out a small moan from the pain. I asked her to help me adjust my legs, I was so uncomfortable. She came back in about 20min later and asked," How are they?" stupid me I thought she was referring to my uncomfortable legs that she repositioned. NOPE. She was talking about my pain level. "Oh its the same nothing has change, oh well." This &*(@$ then tells me that since my contractions are still the same oh well that they are going to send me home. WHAT!?!?!? Umm..no ma'am you are not. Way to go Jess! She tells me to go walk the halls. I am so pissed. Time to put on a show and get a little dramatic. I walk for about 10 min and honestly they got a little stronger but I needed to get a plan together. Plan A: Moan and cry as I pass by the nurses station. CHECK. Get back to the room and now I am told if I haven't dilated I am for sure getting kicked out. frick. Plan B: Google, "If I get an Epidural can the hospital send me home?" hahah. CHECK. EPIDURAL PLEASE!!!! Thank goodness I had dilated but now I have called the anesthesiologist in and he is about to stick that shit in my back WTF have I done. I have never been more terrified in my life. That was by far the worst part of my birthing experience. Its now 2:30am and I am great. Okay so lets cut to the chase. Its now 5:45am Doctor breaks my water again and by 6:10am I felt like I need to toot. NOOOO Mrs. Baker PLEASE STOP! WHAT! What is going on, oh nothing just that we are not ready and there are no doctors on the floor right now and your baby is trying to escape. No way Jose I am pushing so get ready....thanks. 7 min later my sweet baby girl was in my arms.
Daddy cut the cord, my mom and dad were on speaker phone and got to listen in on all the fun, and I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or not I was soooo happy and in shock.
She was 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long.
And so it begins....
I was doing great feeling awesome! The contractions were still at a .5 on a scale from 0-I'm dying. I was in my room relaxing getting ready to play the waiting game. When is this "labor" going to start? What the hell is "labor" because I could do this all day everyday no pain at ALL. About 3 hours later the nurse came in the contractions were a little more intense just enough to make me let out a small moan from the pain. I asked her to help me adjust my legs, I was so uncomfortable. She came back in about 20min later and asked," How are they?" stupid me I thought she was referring to my uncomfortable legs that she repositioned. NOPE. She was talking about my pain level. "Oh its the same nothing has change, oh well." This &*(@$ then tells me that since my contractions are still the same oh well that they are going to send me home. WHAT!?!?!? Umm..no ma'am you are not. Way to go Jess! She tells me to go walk the halls. I am so pissed. Time to put on a show and get a little dramatic. I walk for about 10 min and honestly they got a little stronger but I needed to get a plan together. Plan A: Moan and cry as I pass by the nurses station. CHECK. Get back to the room and now I am told if I haven't dilated I am for sure getting kicked out. frick. Plan B: Google, "If I get an Epidural can the hospital send me home?" hahah. CHECK. EPIDURAL PLEASE!!!! Thank goodness I had dilated but now I have called the anesthesiologist in and he is about to stick that shit in my back WTF have I done. I have never been more terrified in my life. That was by far the worst part of my birthing experience. Its now 2:30am and I am great. Okay so lets cut to the chase. Its now 5:45am Doctor breaks my water again and by 6:10am I felt like I need to toot. NOOOO Mrs. Baker PLEASE STOP! WHAT! What is going on, oh nothing just that we are not ready and there are no doctors on the floor right now and your baby is trying to escape. No way Jose I am pushing so get ready....thanks. 7 min later my sweet baby girl was in my arms.
Daddy cut the cord, my mom and dad were on speaker phone and got to listen in on all the fun, and I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or not I was soooo happy and in shock.
She was 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long.
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And so it begins....
Believe it or not, your birth story is actually comforting. Glad to hear it went well and that your sweet girl was well worth it!
ReplyDelete-Alisa